The search for clarity is never-ending.
Just when I think that I’m coming to see the whole picture of a specific anything, I’m finding myself thrown off-kilter into a hurricane of alternative possibilities. It’s been a reminder to stay present, stay hungry for more. More information, more experiences, more human connection…
Being more present is a quality that I’ve been actively encouraging myself to practice in this new year. I have a tendency to allow the moments to run together, to exist in the physical form while giving my mind the permission to rage at a million miles a minute with anxieties, distracting from the reality of THIS MOMENT in time–where I’m at, with whom, wherever that may be at any given instance.
I want to make the most of all of my moments. To savor them. To devote every bit of focus with my sight/taste/hearing/feeling to the moment that’s playing out.
That’s the ideal, of course, but it’s all too easy to fall out of that pattern. To lose myself in thoughts and completely miss the moment at hand.
A tragedy, really though.
My universe is made of these moments, some weighing more heavily on me than others. Some are new and exciting, and I want to relive them and over-analyze them, which is all fine and well, except for when they detract from another moment in my timeline of life… It’s a confusing concept to explain, and a fine line divides a wandering mind and a loss of focus in the present.
I have so many wonderful people in my life, and they deserve the focused and present version of my mind that I am striving for, rather than the fuzzied alternative that’s creeping in a little too often.
The solution truly is living here, in the now. Being present, allowing the uncomfortable situations to play out on their own.
I have to stop interfering in my own life with the buzz of the past/future that’s living between my ears. These points of time can flourish, but only in their own space. As is true with so many things in life, practice makes perfect.
Here, in the now, it’s for me and the moment. I will let it be that way.